A Cry for Ahavas Yisroel: A Bochur Took His Life — And We Call It “Passed Away”

Stam, this is more of a serious post and I’m totally taking advantage of this platform for this. If you see this as scummy, frankly? I don’t care.I’m considering starting my own OP-ED as COL and others suck. Straight out. Here’s the facts: A bochur killed himself. A bochur, killed himself.

The reports are all “he passed away”. Reporting a suicide as “passed away” and the Bochurim in his school gathering to make a letter in the Sefer Torah in his honor – is tone deaf. This isn’t the first, Chas V’shalom I fear it won’t be the last.

So I’m using this platform of Chitaswhich I dedicate my time to – on his behalf. On OUR behalf. Of the entire younger generation. I’m no saint, I have what to work with on my Ahavas Yisroel personally. But this? This is insanity.

Our community is beautiful, but riddled in self-made scars that could be cured with basic skin care. And to say the lesson of that parable – basic decency.

A shliach shouldn’t call his niece a (excuse my language, this occurred and I’m not going to beat around the bush) a slut merely because she struggles with wearing tznius clothes.

A shliach shouldn’t say “I’d rather that Jew eat chametz on Pesach then get kosher matza from a mushroom/another Shliach”.

A hanhala shouldn’t ask his Bochur in mockery “Do you really think I care about the opinion of a 15 year old bochur?”.

A teacher shouldn’t hate their students, a shliach shouldn’t slap the Rebbe in the face by being a low-life “holier than thou” putz.

A hanhala should be a guide, it’s in the name. A kind guide at that.

These examples may seem anecdotal, but as someone who’s been doing Whatsapp Statuses for ages – I can tell you I’ve heard these personally once too many times. There are countless others.

The neglect of Bochurim and Maidelach is insane, we are taken for granted, we give up so much. Whilst the non-Jewish world isn’t perfect – they are granted some freedom in their childhoods. That’s not what I’m asking for.

I’m stating as follows:

By the fact we’re humans alone – we have a demand from our sages to Love all of Hashem’s creations, by the fact we’re Jews alone, we have a directive from our Torah to love our fellow as you would love yourself.

And these egomaniacal elitists LOVE themselves, so it shouldn’t be that difficult.

This may seem like an angsty article, it is.

A bochur committed suicide and the world is silent. Because, we are replaceable.

It does not matter if we give up our summers for garbage pay to be treated like servants. It does not matter that we give up our teenage years for 14 hour days to be villainized for having struggles.

If 770 is the “Beis Hamikdash in Exile” then the Bochurim are the Kohanim, and when we dance and sing – we are the Leviim.

Don’t get me wrong – there are many messed up Bochurim and Maidelach. There are. They are already debased, hated, villainized, and spoken about by every Yenta in Lubavitch. So I’m not here to discuss the lackings of Bochurim.

I’m here to state simply: WE need to get over ourselves. We need Ahavas Yisroel.

The Baal Shem Tov did not live such a life for us to become egotistical elitists.

It used to be “I’m going to grow up to be the next Moshe” and he humbled a generation. Now it’s become “I’m going to grow up and become a Shliach”.

This isn’t to bash ALL hanhala, nor all Shluchim, nor every one of the older generation, nor the Bochurim who thought a letter in a sefer Torah for their friend who killed himself was the right move, I don’t know what the right move would’ve been to begin with, and I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt now that it was with love.

I don’t know the situation, I don’t know if they bullied him, frankly – it’s enough.

Mental health for the youth is important.

We are living, breathing, thinking individuals. We matter.

I’ll end off on one thing, “Derech Eretz Kadma Latorah” is not a cutesy saying, it’s one of the most crucial parts of being a Jew.